You are good. I'm sorry you feel this way, and I am sorry that the first sentence was the first thing I thought when I read this. Not your confusion, or the blur within your emotional ecosystem. But you are a really good writer Dimeji, and it is always an honour reading what you write. I pray you figure it out. I understand in my own way, what this feels like, and I am fighting actively against it. Sometimes I feel like a hamster on a wheel, but I will figure it out, too. I am sending you Love & Light. Thank you for this.